


losers

by Marsauraus



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe- No Supernatural, Derry (Stephen King), F/M, Georgie Denbrough Lives, Group Chat Fic, M/M, Multi, Slow Burn, georgie is FINE bc i said so, hes just a clown with a criminal record, hes not a supernatural entity is what im getting at, pennywise exists hes just a lil bitch, probably like no angst, reddie is kinda obvious bc theyre idiots but the rest will happen i promise :), richie made the groupchat, texting au, they just live like this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-12
Updated: 2020-07-07
Packaged: 2020-12-13 21:08:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 6,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21004184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marsauraus/pseuds/Marsauraus
Summary: Bitchie Tozier: wow i cant believe ben singlehandedly ended self hateMedicine Man: hey bitchBitchie Tozier: nevermindMedicine Man: i was gonna say u were valid but not anymoreBitchie Tozier: ow eds :’( that really hurtMedicine Man: good





	1. spaghett

**Author's Note:**

> The title is incredibly unoriginal, I AM SO SORRY

“Feral gaybies” 2:34 am, Wednesday

Medicine Man: i cant take it. Im seriously at my fucking limit

Beaverly: what happend

Medicine Man: he put fuckign spaghetti in my mailbox again

Beaverly: ah so its about rich

Beaverly: did he at least put it in a tupperware this time???

Medicine Man: yes, thank god

Medicine Man: i had to clean my mailbox last time

Bitchie Tozier: thts so unfair!!!! Im just makin sure the spahgetti man is doin ok

Micycle: by putting spaghetti in his mailbox

Bitchie Tozier: this is how im professing my love pls dont judge thnks

Bitchie Tozier: also mike have u never heard of mailing things

Medicine Man: THATS NOT HOW YOU DO IT

Beaverly: ok so i get these heathens, but why r u up at 2 am

Micycle: i need no sleep

Medicine Man: RICHIE HOW DO YOU THINK MAILING WORKS

Micycle: i run on mac n cheese. Sleep is irrelevant

Bitchie Tozier: WHY WOULD I ACTUALLY MAIL IT TO U YOU LIVE SO CLOSE

Bitchie Tozier: BUT YOU WONT LET ME IN UR HOUSE HOW ELSE AM I SUPPOSED TO GET IT TO YOU

Bitchie Tozier: MITOSIS?? TELEPORTATION??

Beaverly: haha richie doesnt know what mitosis is

Beaverly: ok night folks im hella tired

Micycle: night bev

Medicine Man: RICHIE THATS SO WEIRD I DONT EVEN LIKE SPAGHETTI THAT MUCH

Bitchie Tozier: actually i recall you hurled at 4th grade graduation bc u ate so much spaghetti and ur mom had u on lockdown for like two weeks

Medicine Man: JSBSBSSNMI SHUT UP SHUT UP THAT DOESNT COUNT 

Medicine Man: IF ANYTHING IM TRAUMATIZED BY THAT

Micycle: ight imma head out

Micycle: hope u two dont fall asleep tomorrow during class. Pls get some sleep for once 

Bitchie Tozier: haha jokes on u adhd never sleeps

Medicine Man: ok bitchie

Medicine Man: if my mom sees me bein too tired she might think im sick so imma sleep just to avoid that, if anything

Bitchie Tozier: aww dont worry, if you get sick i can always take care of u B)

Bitchie Tozier: oh damb im really alone now huh

Bitchie Tozier: ok i guess ill take a depression nap

“Feral gaybies” 3:17 pm, Wednesday

Big Bill: Hey guys i can’t go to the mall today

Big Bill: Georgie cut his arm again

Medicine Man: WHAT

Bitchie Tozier: didnt this happen last year too

Medicine Man: THAT COULD GET INFECTED!!!11!!1

Beaverly: yeah lmao like summer last year with that bitch ass clown

Medicine Man: I LITERALLY HOPE UR TAKING HIM TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM RIGHT NOW

Bitchie Tozier: ok calm down eds

Medicine Man: dont call me that

Big Bill: He’s okay, were just gonna get it checked out anyway

Big Bill: Also yeah that clown was really scary that really messed me up

Beaverly: im glad georgies ok!!!

Big Bill: thanks bev :)

Good man: Hi guys!!!

Good man: oh no, that sucks bill. I hope hes ok!

Beaverly: ah yes, here comes the only valid person in the gc

Good man: oh thanks bev! But all of you are plenty valid!!

Beaverly: oh UWU

Bitchie Tozier: wow i cant believe ben singlehandedly ended self hate

Medicine Man: hey bitch

Bitchie Tozier: nevermind

Medicine Man: i was gonna say u were valid but not anymore

Bitchie Tozier: ow eds :’( that really hurt

Medicine Man: good

Bitchie Tozier: u know what eds is just kind of a tiny bastard

Bitchie Tozier: yeah

[Bitchie Tozier has changed Medicine Man’s name to tiny bastard]

tiny bastard: IM NOT THAT TINY

Beaverly: ah shit here we go again

Good man: this is just how they say i love you :)

tiny bastard: NO I HATE RICHIE

Bitchie Tozier: ow

Big Bill: ok so anyway maybe we could go to the mall on friday?? I should be free then

Beaverly: sounds good

Good man: i’d just be spending the day at the library, so yeah!

Bitchie Tozier: yuh

tiny bastard: works for me

Staniel the Maniel: I can come on Friday, but only after 3:30. After that my dad will let me hang out with you guys.

Bitchie Tozier: hey stan B) 

Bitchie Tozier: glad to see ur alive

Staniel the Maniel: No thanks to you.

Bitchie Tozier: what r u implying buddy

Staniel the Maniel: Absolutely nothing. It’s just that everyone who knows you has high blood pressure.

tiny bastard: its true

Bitchie Tozier: wow r00d


	2. 46 minutes of clown music

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beaverly: THE CLOWN GOT HIM

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im so sorry the 46 minutes of clown music was a joke from theater class but i was gonna absolutely lose it if i didnt include it somehow, so

“Feral gaybies” 4:45 pm, Thursday

tiny bastard: I fucknig saw HIM!!1!!!

Bitchie Tozier: eds ur not even speaking english

tiny bastard: WHATS HIS NAMR

tiny bastard: THE FNRCHKINHG CLOW N

Beaverly: what was his name?? Nickelsmart???

tiny bastard: NCKLE SMRKJSKJJD

Bitchie Tozier: oh god uve killed him

Beaverly: THE CLOWN GOT HIM

Good man: What was his name??

Big Bill: PENNYWISE THE SLOPPY BITCH

Good man: oh no

tiny bastard: AAH PENNYWISE WAS STARING RIGHT AT ME

Bitchie Tozier: Listen I know I say ill fight anyone + dont live up to it but i will kill pennywise

Bitchie Tozier: not because i think hes particularly weak, its just that if I ever saw him again id be filled with the exact amount of power needed to kill him

Good man: Eddie are you ok??

tiny bastard: dndhsajd im hiding rn in a starbucks so I should be safe for now

Beaverly: wheres that video of richie last summer

Beaverly: it was right after Sloppy Bitch broke eddie’s arm

Big Bill: The one where Richie said “this is all your fault Bill” and then swung a baseball bat directly at Pennywise’s head

Bitchie Tozier: Vibe Check!

Bitchie Tozier: me @ pennywise: sir your vibes are disgusting

Beaverly: ncjdshds

tiny bastard: kbfdjkfdjg

Bitchie Tozier: u ok eds? I mean obviously id protect you but u sounded really panicked there

tiny bastard: Im ok now

tiny bastard: don’t ever fucking repeat this,

tiny bastard: but I think talking to u guys helped

Beaverly: awww

Good man: we love you Eddie!! If you ever need to talk to us about anything, we’re here!

Big Bill: Yeah man! We’re always here

tiny bastard: :)) thanks

Bitchie Tozier: yeah, i still love you, even if ur a bottom

tiny bastard: ok moment canceled

Beaverly: >implying richies a top

tiny bastard: i am not a bottom and richies DEFINITELY not a top

Bitchie Tozier: eddie keysmashes bc hes a bottom

tiny bastard: JSHFHSW I DO NOT

tiny bastard: IM NOT

tiny bastard: SHUT UP RICHIE

“Functional Bi and Disaster Bi, Respectively” 5:28 pm, Thursday

Rich Bitch: i think im handling my crush on Eddie p well

BevBev: last week you got in a gay panic over how pretty he was and slid him a note in sci that said “get out of my school”

Rich Bitch: HOW DO U KNOW THAT

BevBev: stan told me

Rich Bitch: THAT BITCH

Rich Bitch: HE PROMISED

“Feral gaybies” 5:31 pm, Thursday

Big Bill: Ok can we talk about something else bc I don’t really feel like talking about if Eddie’s a bottom or not

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok pls join my discord and yell at me: https://discord.gg/j9JYRkX


	3. meetup

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beaverly: if he approaches me before hes cleared to, ill fend him off with my sick karate moves
> 
> Bitchie Tozier: not if i attack you with MY sick karate moves first
> 
> Beaverly: ah
> 
> Beaverly: a battle to the death

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i tried to do a lil bit of actual real time writing and mesh it with the gc writing, i hope it didnt feel weird or catch u guys off guard

“Feral gaybies” 2:22 pm, Friday

Bitchie Tozier: hey

Bitchie Tozier: your breathing manually right now

Good man: no!! Why would you say that!!

Bitchie Tozier: no one said hi back

Beaverly: you’re a cruel man, bitchie

Staniel the Maniel: *You’re

Bitchie Tozier: fuck off stan

Beaverly: haha richie doesnt know grammar

Bitchie Tozier: you gonna do tht to me every time?

Beaverly: ye

Bitchie Tozier: stop laughing bev I can see you from across the library

Beaverly: then come and say hi you coward

Good man: no offence!! But every time Bev and Richie are left unattended with one another, they always break something and get kicked out

Good man: maybe wait for Stan?? Or Mike?? Or Bill???

Bitchie Tozier: ok look ill wait for the others before approaching bev, you dont need to be panicked bc its gonna be fine

Beaverly: if he approaches me before hes cleared to, ill fend him off with my sick karate moves

Bitchie Tozier: not if i attack you with MY sick karate moves first

Beaverly: ah

Beaverly: a battle to the death

Good man: no killing anyone!

Beaverly: ok no killing anyone

Staniel the Maniel: Even if it’s Richie?

Bitchie Tozier: ow

Bitchie Tozier: why do u guys like hurting me

Staniel the Maniel: You’re easy to hurt.

tiny bastard: everytime richie speaks, stan loses a brain cell

Staniel the Maniel: If I did that, I’d be brain dead because Richie never shuts up.

Bitchie Tozier: ya know what, 

Bitchie Tozier: thats fair

Micycle: Oh wow look it’s the resident gremlins, sitting like four tables away from one another

Micycle: Im here now u jokes, you can just sit at one table now

Beaverly: so no karate fight?

Good man: no.

Bitchie Tozier: oh god seeing ben *not* using exclamation points is really scary

Good man: im sorry!!

Micycle: Dw ben ur fine, don’t listen to that chucklefuck

Bitchie Tozier: GOD i love being a chucklefuck

Beaverly: do you

Beaverly: do you even know what that means

Bitchie Tozier: absolutely not but whatever it is i identify with it

Big Bill: Gay culture is being a chucklefuck

Beaverly: HDSHJSDHSW

tiny bastard: jdjkhdjks

tiny bastard: what if ur gay but NOT a chucklefuck

Bitchie Tozier: hand over your gay card, eds

tiny bastard: but I don’t want to be a chucklefuck

Beaverly: that word is ew and I dont know where mikey got it from

Micycle: My brain

Bitchie Tozier: mike how DARE you be the funniest person in this chat

Beaverly: tfw mike is consistently the only person here with a good sense of humor

Bitchie Tozier: yeah stans sense of humor is just making fun of me

Beaverly: it take it back stan has a great sense of humor too

Bitchie Tozier: OW

“Feral gaybies” 2:47, Friday

Good man: ok I am here now!!

Beaverly: i see you! Come join us

Bitchie Tozier: ben wtf why are you carrying that solid BRICk of a book

Good man: i like to read

Good man: lemme check out soon and i’ll go join you!

Bitchie Tozier: hells yeah

Richie looked up from his phone to see Ben making his way over to their table. The self proclaimed ‘losers table’ was only filled with Bev, Mike, and Richie so far, but Ben made a solid addition to the group.

“Hey guys!” Ben said, in his soft and cheerful voice.

Bev smiled. “Hey Ben. Come sit next to me.”

As Ben moved to the other side of the table, Richie made a long, drawn out ‘hmmmmm’ noise. He looked between Bev and Ben before glancing right back at Beverly, but she was pointedly ignoring his side eye.

Mike broke the small silence that had fallen over them. “Man, I can’t believe Stan has to wait until 3:30 to hang out.”

Richie grinned. “Yeah, what are we gonna do without Stan the Man?” He looked down at his phone as a notification went off.

“R + E” 2:51, Friday

E: hey bitch 

E: can you drive me home afterwards? I dont wanna ask my mom

R: yeah eds i gotchu

E: stop calling me that

E: but thanks

R: u almost here?

E: yeah asshole, gimme a minute

Richie put his phone back in his pocket. “Eddie's almost here.”

Beverly immediately perked up. “Did he bring the goldfish?” she asked, her fingers tapping the table. Richie would be annoyed by that if he wasn’t messing with the support beams under the tabletop. 

He shrugged. “I dunno, I didn’t ask him.”

Beverly kicked his shin. “Ask him, you clown.” 

Richie kicked her back. “Ask him when he gets here,” he said, just as the library doors swung open. But it wasn’t Eddie who walked in, it was Bill.

“Ah, our fearless leader,” Riche snorted, hanging back in his chair, slumped over the edge like he was passed out. He could see a very upside down Bill from where he was sitting before his glasses slipped off and hit the floor.

Bill slung his backpack down on the library floor. “D-di-did Eddie r-re-remember to bring the g-guh-goldfish?”

“Feral gaybies” 3:04, Friday

Bitchie Tozier: stan if you dont read this message by exactly 3:30 your cancelled

“Feral gaybies” 3:31, Friday

Staniel the Maniel: Fuck you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im so sorry, but if u have any ideas youd like for me to include, mayhaps suggest something and I'll see if I can work it in!


	4. no hets in this house

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beaverly: anyway yeah, im talking about when he threw up into a trashcan and rich was being sweet and considerate for once? like, disgusting, im tryna drink a slushie here
> 
> Micycle: Sometimes theyr nice to each other and its gross but in a cute way
> 
> Good man: i think its nice that theyre nice to each other sometimes! But also it feels very odd
> 
> Beaverly: FACTS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so for the record straight ben is valid, but also i thought itd be funny if everyone else was gay and stan was like “haha no im straight!! I swear!” and no one believed him. So anyway ben is pan and I feel like bi doesnt fit him so even though he has a preference for girls he goes by pan. Also peep the tags, stan aint straight.
> 
> pls comment. Im desperate for attention and affection. I love all of u

“Feral gaybies” 10:45 pm, Friday

Beaverly: wow the store employees really have HAD IT with richie

tiny bastard: everyone’s had it with richie

Bitchie Tozier: hey look, im just too cool for them to handle

Micycle: They kicked you out.

Bitchie Tozier: im just too cool for them to handle

tiny bastard: you are NOT

Bitchie Tozier: B(

tiny bastard: ew

Bitchie Tozier: hope u can handle the slushie hangover tomorrow

tiny bastard: Fuck Off

Big Bill: Guys please go to sleep

Big Bill: Im literally begging you

“New Kids On The Block” 12:02 pm, Saturday

Beaverly: so does eds realize he was basically flirting with richie last night

Beaverly: im not even talking about on gc last nite, thats just standard banter

Micycle: U mean right after ben left?

Beaverly: yeah, but it doesn’t really have anything to do with the fact that ben left

Beaverly: i think eddie just started doing shit regardless

Good man: i told him that he drank too many slushies!

Beaverly: dw ben ur perf 

Beaverly: eds is just a hypochondriac hypocrite

Micycle: He would be on all our asses for being unhealthy if we drank as many slushies as he did

Beaverly: facts

Beaverly: anyway yeah, im talking about when he threw up into a trashcan and rich was being sweet and considerate for once? like, disgusting, im tryna drink a slushie here

Micycle: Sometimes theyr nice to each other and its gross but in a cute way

Good man: i think its nice that theyre nice to each other sometimes! But also it feels very odd

Beaverly: FACTS

“Feral gaybies” 12:34 pm, Saturday

Big Bill: Isn’t it weird that all of us are gay?

Beaverly: i mean technically im bi

Big Bill: But you’re still a home of sexual

Beaverly: dhussishudxz yeah, you got me there

Beaverly: ew what was that keysmash

Staniel the Maniel: Not all of us are gay.

Bitchie Tozier: WHAT

Bitchie Tozier: WHO

Staniel the Maniel: Me??? 

Staniel the Maniel: I’m straight??

Bitchie Tozier: stan i luv u but you are NOT straight

Micycle: Wait ok now we need to take gay inventory

Bitchie Tozier: what u are is in denial

Staniel the Maniel: No, I swear. I like this girl in my AP Lit class.

Bitchie Tozier: W H A T

Big Bill: Oh

Beaverly: oh

Micycle: Ok so ben and I are pan, bev bill and richie are bi, eddie is a homo and stan is apparently straight

Beaverly: sounds fake but ok

Micycle: Do i believe that stan is straight? No. 

Micycle: Will i support him if he wants to call himself straight? Yea

Bitchie Tozier: ok stan so whos ur fake girlfriend

Staniel the Maniel: She’s real and her name is Patty. Fuck off.

Bitchie Tozier: no hets in this house

Bitchie Tozier: stan get out

tiny bastard: I cant believe stan is striaght

tiny bastard: also wow am I the only person attracted to only one gender

Stan the Maniel: I’m straight.

tiny bastard: o yeah

Bitchie Tozier: we gotta ban stan the man

“Feral gaybies” 1:56 pm, Saturday

Bitchie Tozier: ok so making controversial comments here ends with some wild shit happening so maybe this isnt the best idea but yall ever notice how all of us have nicknames that end with an -e sound

Beaverly: FUCK

Staniel the Maniel: No.

Bitchie Tozier: richie, eddie, mikey, bevvy, stanny, billy and benny

Bitchie: we usually just call ben, ben, but ive referenced him as benny boy before so i think that counts

Big Bill: Ok only my favorite people are allowed to call me Billy, so namely Georgie

Bitchie Tozier: didnt stan call u billy last week

Staniel the Maniel: It was a joke but O.K.

Big Bill: He’s allowed

Micycle: Billy is a cute nickname

Big Bill: Mike is allowed too

Bitchie Tozier: what about me

Big Bill: No

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kinda short but lmao i wanted to post this


	5. laffy taffy vs toes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tiny bastard: if you make a toe comment you lose your group chat privileges
> 
> tiny bastard: I will not hesitate to remove any of you
> 
> Big Bill: What about Ben
> 
> tiny bastard: except ben
> 
> tiny bastard: but bold of u to assume he would ever make a toe comment
> 
> Big Bill: That’s probably fair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi so ya boi martin is, unfortunately, not feeling very well but I don’t have school tomorrow so thats good! I just want u kids to know that,, Your comments only fuel me and motivate me to create content. Not sure if it’s good content, but. It’s content
> 
> also i know and recognize that the title may be vaguely threatening
> 
> Anyway i love all of u, have a good day

“Feral gaybies” 11:43 am, Sunday

Bitchie Tozier: hey whats a snowmans favorite food

Beaverly: what

Bitchie Tozier: a chili brrrger

tiny bastard: richie that was terrible

Bitchie Tozier: ok it was a Laffy Taffys joke not mine

tiny bastard: i mena its bad enough to actually be one of your jokes

Bitchie Tozier: what did the plate say to the cup

tiny bastard: richie do NOT

Bitchie Tozier: looks like dinner is on me

Beaverly: sir please 

tiny bastard: how do you block/remove the creator of the group chat

Micycle: I know u can block people but unless ur the creator i dont know if u can remove people

Bitchie Tozier: how does a tree go home when its ready

Bitchie Tozier: it leaves

[tiny bastard has removed Bitchie Tozier from the group]

tiny bastard: nvm guys I figured it out

Beaverly: HJDHJHDS EDDIE

Micycle: Hmmm

tiny bastard: what? im doing everyone a service

Staniel the Maniel: Thank you.

tiny bastard: youre welcome stan

Beaverly: you just removed the creator, what a power move

“R + E” 11:51 am, Sunday

R: what the fuck eds

E: it had to be done

R: add me back

E: no

R: bitch

E: nothing you can say will make me add u back

R: whats small and cute

E: there are things u can say to make me block you, however

R: the answer is you B)

E: im this close to blockign u

R: noooo wait eds i take it back

E: don’t call me eds

“Functional Bi and Disaster Bi, Respectively” 11:53 am, Sunday

Rich Bitch: bev pls add me back 

Rich Bitch: eds wont do it

BevBev: i gotchu

“Feral gaybies” 11:54 am, Sunday

[Beaverly has added Richie to the group]

Richie: thanks bev

Beaverly: np

Richie: hmmm it deleted my nickname

Richie: ive been kinda wanting a new one anyway

Richie: any suggestions

tiny bastard: BEV WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT

Richie: as funny as that would be, im not naming myslef “BEV WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT”

tiny bastard: BEV

Beaverly: hes part of the group, edso

tiny bastard: ok but when he makes more laffy taffy jokes ur gonna regret adding him back

Richie: please you love me

tiny bastard: false, but continue

Beaverly: please we all know youre gay for richie

tiny bastard: personally I think richie looks like a rat

“New Kids On The Block” 11:59 am, Sunday

Micycle: Ok so, whyd u do that

Beaverly: im tryna get eddie his mans but hes being insufferable

Good man: no offense Bev!! But they’re like that

Micycle: What did u expect theyre both repressed

Beaverly: hmmm fair

“Feral gaybies” 12:03 pm, Sunday

Richie: ok so ive figured it out

[Richie has changed their name to Richie Toes]

tiny bastard: HJDJSHDSAJHY WHY

Beaverly: HDWJS WHAT

tiny bastard: JDSJSA RICHE TO ES

tiny bastard: T OES

Micycle: Eddies having a stronk

Beaverly: stronk

Richie Toes: stronk

Staniel the Maniel: Stronk.

Micycle: Ok, listen, i momentarily forgot how to spell stroke

tiny bastard: WHY IS RICHIES NAME RICHIE TOES

tiny bastard: IM LITERALLY CRYING R WHY ARE U LIKE THIS 

Richie Toes: yknow like the first part of my last name

Richie Toes: like the toz part is pronounced like toes

tiny bastard: THATS HORRIBLE

Micycle: So weve cleared that up--

Beaverly: actually i thought u were going for more of a “suck toes or die trying” thing

tiny bastard: IJDJSKHD BEV NO

tiny bastard: PLEAKSJSJ

Richie Toes: ah look uve killed eds

Beaverly: as i seem to recall, that was actually you my good sir

Big Bill: Okay so so far today we’ve had Laffy Taffy jokes and toes

Big Bill: Disgusting

tiny bastard: if u make a laffy taffy joke I am legally allowed to kill you

Micycle: What about toe comments

tiny bastard: if you make a toe comment you lose your group chat privileges

tiny bastard: I will not hesitate to remove any of you

Big Bill: What about Ben

tiny bastard: except ben

tiny bastard: but bold of u to assume he would ever make a toe comment

Big Bill: That’s probably fair

“Feral gaybies” 12:32 pm, Sunday

Good man: hi guys!! What’d i miss

Beaverly: uh,,

Richie Toes: toes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> todays chapater's motivation was sponsored by BookRockShooter, who has the audacity to come onto my fic and tell me my conttent is funny when their it group chat fic is singlehandedly one of the funniest things ive ever read


	6. feral gays + straight stan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tiny bastard: so we’re really not gonna talk about how richie taught swear words to kids on the bus
> 
> Beaverly: i mean its on brand for him
> 
> Richie Toes: they needed to know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so,,, im like super sorry for not updating for like, months and i know i have no excuse but anyway

“Feral gaybies” 2:46 pm, Tuesday

Richie Toes: yknow what

Beaverly: what

Richie Toes: i feel like the name of this gc isn’t really that accurate anymore

Beaverly: ??

Richie Toes: since stan decided to betray us and be het

Beaverly: oh lmao yeah i forgot stan’s “straight”

Richie Toes: coward

Richie Toes: anyway

tiny bastard: im scared

Micycle: As You Should Be

Richie Toes: anyway heres the point

[Richie Toes has changed the name of the chat to “Gays + Stan”]

Staniel the Maniel: Fuck off.

“Gays + Stan” 4:43 pm, Tuesday

tiny bastard: so we’re really not gonna talk about how richie taught swear words to kids on the bus

Beaverly: i mean its on brand for him

Richie Toes: they needed to know

“Stan Can Fuck Off” 4:46 pm, Tuesday

Bord Watcher: Did you really teach them cuss words?

Richie Toes: oh absolutely my man, my main guy

Bord Watcher: Ew. Don’t call me your main guy ever again.

[Richie Toes has changed Bord Watcher’s nickname to Main Guy]

Main Guy: RICHIE.

Richie Toes: kepp it up and ill change ur nickname in the main gc too

Main Guy: Kepp.

Richie Toes: i know what i said

“Gays + Stan” 4:50 pm, Tuesday

tiny bastard: he taught swear words to 1st graders

Richie Toes: and what about it eds

Richie Toes: ur just mad bc u almost cried on the bus this morning

tiny bastard: no I didnt, fuck off

Richie Toes: oh you definitely did

Richie Toes: you were like super close

tiny bastard: youre a liar!!

tiny bastard: I did NOT cry

Micycle: But were you close

Richie Toes: yes

tiny bastard: no

Beaverly: well one of u is lying

Richie Toes: for once in my life its not me!

Richie Toes: I lkegit was teaching kids to swear and eddie said ‘dont fucking do that asshole’ and almost burst into tears for literally no reason

tiny bastard: i was just reminded of how much i hate you again

Richie Toes: so u admit im right

“Panic” 5:01 pm, Tuesday

One Whole Babe: are you panicking rn

Asshole: DONT CALL ME OUT BEV IM STRESSED

Spiders: God, you guys are insufferable.

Asshole: 11!!1!!! ITS NOT MY FAULT I GOT SAD AND RICHIE STARTED MAKING FUN OF ME

One Whole Babe: why did u get sad abt richie teaching kids cuss words

Asshole: idk!! ig i just got sad about not being that young anymore. we used to learn cuss words on the school bus and i was j feeling very nostalgic

Asshole: but now hes making fun of me and HHHHHHHH

One Whole Babe: sounds like u got a case of the gay

Spiders: Can’t relate.

One Whole Babe: god, we get it stan, youre straight

Asshole: stop rubbing it in!! ur the asshole now

Spiders: You’re both insufferable.

One Whole Babe: newsflash straighty ive been insufferable the whole gotdamn time

One Whole Babe: but eddie you do know its ok that ur stressed about having a crush on richie

One Whole Babe: if i had a crush on richie id be stressed too

Asshole: haha

Asshole: im laughning so hard rn. very funny

One Whole Babe: no but seriously. i know were growing up, so things arent going to be the same anymore. but thats ok

One Whole Babe: maybe instead of getting sad about something thats impossible to replicate, you and richie can both teach kids cuss words

Asshole: i dont think i wanna be a bad role model but thanks bev. <3

One Whole Babe: <3

Spiders: Please know that I will love and support you guys in whatever you might do, even if that action includes having a crush on Richie. <3

One Whole Babe: STAN USED AN EMOTICON OH SHIT

Asshole: WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT DID YOU DO WITH STAN

Spiders: Jesus Fucking Christ, I try to be nice one time and I get this.

“Gays + Stan” 5:16 pm, Tuesday

tiny bastard: pls fuck off richard

“Gays + Stan” 11:45 am, Wednesday

Micycle: Hey guys did u know that pennywise has a criminal record

tiny bastard: WHAT

Richie Toes: WHSAT

Big Bill: W h a t

Good man: oh no

Richie Toes: MICYCLE MY GOOD SIR YOU CANT JUST DROP THAT ON US AND LEAVE


	7. CRIMINAL RECORD

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Staniel the Maniel: I’m not sure I want to know anything about this ‘criminal record’.
> 
> Richie Toes: what do you MEAN you don’t want to know anything about a criminal record???
> 
> tiny bastard: im not excited about it either, asshole
> 
> Richie Toes: aww its okay eddie spaghetti
> 
> Richie Toes: ill protect u from the scary clown B)
> 
> tiny bastard: actually Id rather die
> 
> Richie Toes: sad uwu

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey another chapter with actual writing!! This time it’s from Stan’s point of view. I might do something for eddie, then probably bev but don’t hold me to that order. I’d like to do povs of all the losers!! It might help u guys figure out where the characters stand with one another, too
> 
> This chapter was gonna be less funny ngl so i tried to make it longer n shove more content in here, but anyway here u have it folks: the chapter in which Stan is soft

“2 out of 3 respectable adults” 3:26 pm, Friday

Bill :) : Hey Stan can I talk to you about something?

Stan: Um. Yes? Of course.

Stan: Is something wrong?

Bill :) : Well,

Bill :) : Remember how Georgie cut his arm?

Stan: Oh God. Is he alright?

Bill :) : No nono he’s fine. It DID get infected like Eddie was worried about, but the doctors put him on medicine

Stan: I’m glad to hear that he’s okay! Something’s still upsetting you, though.

Bill: You can read me like a book huh

Bill: I don’t know, I’ve been worried a lot about the kids in our neighborhood in general

Bill: A lot of really messed up stuff has happened to a bunch of kids. Georgie’s not the only one, our neighbor’s kid Dean ended up being traumatized because their house got broken into while he was with a babysitter

Bill: I’m just concerned that all of them are gonna end up having anxiety or lifelog baggage or something crazy like that

Stan: I think it’s really sweet that you’re concerned. I don’t know that there’s anything you can do about the crime rate in Derry, though. You might just end up driving yourself crazy thinking about it. I’d say… just try to be there for Georgie if he needs it, let him know that his older brother is there for him. 

Stan: ...And the other kids if you are close to them. These events that are happening to them seem pretty isolated but maybe if a kid goes through something rough like Georgie did, you can help them out.

Stan watched the screen as the ‘typing’ bubble popped up, indicating that Bill was writing something. Then the bubble disappeared for a few moments, before returning again, before disappearing again. Stan decided to give the other boy a little bit to compose his thoughts. He got up and stretched, wincing at the sound of his back cracking. God, the spine is an architectural nightmare. 

Something about their conversation was bothering him a little bit. You know, other than the fact that crime in Derry is like, 6 times the national average, or something.

Bill was acting like nothing weird had ever happened to them as kids. What about them having anxiety or emotional baggage?? Stan was pretty sure that he was fine, but Eddie probably had some sort of undiagnosed anxiety disorder, and Bill wasn’t exactly perfectly fine either. Clearly he worried over Georgie a lot, but he didn’t realize how much damage all that worrying was doing to him. 

And it didn’t look like he wanted to talk about it, judging by the fact that he specifically started off the conversation with Georgie, not himself.

Stan heard his phone buzz once and immediately fell back onto his bed to look at the messages.

“Gays + Stan” 3:52 pm, Friday

Richie Toes: ok so is Mike ever gonna get back to us about the criminal record thing he and ben found

Nevermind, it was just Richie.

Staniel the Maniel: I’m not sure I want to know anything about this ‘criminal record’.

Richie Toes: what do you MEAN you don’t want to know anything about a criminal record???

tiny bastard: im not excited about it either, asshole

Richie Toes: aww its okay eddie spaghetti

Richie Toes: ill protect u from the scary clown B)

tiny bastard: actually Id rather die

Richie Toes: sad uwu

Beaverly: are we going to find him and get him arrested or are we going to find and him and harass him

Micycle: Why not both

Richie Toes: thats the plan

tiny bastard: WAIT WAIT WAIT WHO THE FUCK SAID ANYTHING ABOUT FINDING PENNYWISE

Beaverly: i did

tiny bastard: NO

tiny bastard: NO CLOWN

Richie Toes: who wants to go clown hunting!

Beaverly: awh yeah

“2 out of 3 respectable adults” 4:09 pm, Friday

Bill :) : Thanks, Stan. That really means a lot

He had been typing all that time just to say thanks? Clearly Bill had something else that he had wanted to say. 

Stan frowned. He liked to think that most of his friends felt they could come to him for some level-headed advice, and he hoped that Bill wasn’t keeping stuff from him just so he wouldn’t worry. Something inside of him felt warm at the thought, even though he didn’t like it when Bill tried to deal with things alone.

“Gays + Stan” 4:11 pm, Friday

Micycle: Aight lit does this sunday sound good

Staniel the Maniel: You mean… in two days?

Micycle: yea

Beaverly: im down!

Richie Toes: MIKE TELL US ABOUT THE CRIMINAL RECORD

“2 out of 3 respectable adults” 4:12 pm, Friday

Stan: You’re welcome. :)

“Gays + Stan” 4:12 pm, Friday

Micycle: Ok wait let me get ben on here

Good man: hi guys!!!

Beaverly: ben just cured my depression

Richie Toes: ok bev

Beaverly: my acne has been cleared, my crops have been watered, my hotel trivagoed,,

Beaverly: would you deny that hes perfect??

Richie Toes: no actually ur right

Good man: awww thanks you two! I don’t think im perfect, but I think *you’re* perfect!!

Beaverly: I AM DYING LOOK AT THIS ANGEL OF A BABY

Richie Toes: BEV STOP BEING HET FOR BEN I WANNA HEAR ABOUYT THW CLOWN

Richie Toes: MIKE AND BEN PLS TELL US ABOUT THE CRIMINAL RECORD

Micycle: Well he’s been charged with a lot of minor things actually

Good man: mostly just theft, although he did lure a kid into the sewers and beat him up.

tiny bastard: SEWERS???

Good man: yes, apparently that’s where he’s currently hiding.

Micycle: He Lives In The Sewers

tiny bastard: EW EW EWEWEEWEW

Micycle: Ben u forgot the one account of vehicular manslaughter

Richie Toes: HE MURDERED SOMEONE????? TELL ME

tiny bastard: HE M U R D E R E D SOMEONE??1!!?!

Micycle: Dont worry he wont kill any of us, i don’t think he has access to cars in the sewers

Micycle: Also

Micycle: I will bring the sheep gun

Beaverly: lmao mikey dont bring the sheep gun

Staniel the Maniel: We are not bringing the sheep gun.

Micycle: It’s For Protection

Big Bill: What the fuck

Micycle: Oh hi bill :))

Big Bill: What is going on

Richie Toes: were gonna hunt down pennywise and bully him

Beaverly: were Going To Get Him Arrested

Staniel the Maniel: Actually, WE’RE going to get arrested.

Big Bill: Sounds fun

tiny bastard: were not going after him

Richie Toes: cmon eds! wheres ur sense of whimsy

tiny bastard: he lives. In the sewer.

Richie Toes: and

tiny bastard: he lives???? In the sewer???

tiny bastard: do you KNOW how many diseases are down there? no you dont, because youre stupid and have no concerns about ur health or safety

Beaverly: health and safety is for losers lmao lets get this clown

Staniel the Maniel: Technically we are losers.

Beaverly: Irrelivent

Beaverly: irrivelent

Beaverly: fuck it u know what i mean

Richie Toes: ok so when does sewer time start??

tiny bastard: WE ARE NOT GOING TO KILL PENNYWISE PLS WERW JUST GONNA ARREST HIM

Beaverly: oh so youre in this now

tiny bastard: wait 

Richie Toes: did u folks hear??? EDDIES IN

tiny bastard: NO

Micycle: Ok so ill get the sheep gun,,

Beaverly: no sheep gun

Micycle: :’((

Beaverly: were gonna turn him over to the cops if we get him, so u dont want a gun on u

Micycle: Oh shit u right

“Gays + Stan” 11: 02 am, Saturday

Big Bill: Hey is this next school week gonna be normal?

Good man: i think so!! Why?

Big Bill: Exams are next week

Richie Toes: ew, next week

tiny bastard: god i hope pennywise kills me before then

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: ahaha!! my it fic will be so fun and stupid!! theres definitely no angst here!
> 
> also me: lowkey sets up potential Bill angst
> 
> also also me: sewer time


	8. sewer time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Micycle: Hell yeah 
> 
> Micycle: Nothing says true r
> 
> Micycle: Nothing says true friendship like wading through a sewer together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, its been months,,,,,,,,,,,,. I fr wanna finish this fic so uh we’ll see how consistent my updates will be. Will it be tomorrow???? Next month???? In three months??? Who knows. I do know that sewer time will be split into two parts!!! Anyway heres the gays

“Gays + Stan” 4:35 am, Sunday

Richie Toes: okay so did we ever actually figure out where he lives

Beaverly: ???

Beaverly: who????

Richie Toes: Clown Bitch

Beaverly: ah yes

Beaverly: he lives in the sewer, richie

Richie Toes: no no i mean WHERE in the sewer

Beaverly: i think ben and mikey have a map with his general location marked.

Richie Toes: aight lit when we rollin up

tiny bastard: shut the fuck up

Richie Toes: why on gods earth would i do that

tiny bastard: im trying to sleep, asshole

Richie Toes: eds

Richie Toes: eds there’s a mute button

Beaverly: im surprised he didnt have it on already

tiny bastard: dont call me eds

Richie Toes: no one answered my question :’((

Micycle: We’ll meet up around 11 am

Richie Toes: mike u r the nicest person ive ever met

Beaverly: no, thats ben

Richie Toes: i thot we said no hets in this gc

Richie Toes: whoops, sorry Stan

Staniel the Maniel: Go to sleep.

tiny bastard: i have several questions

tiny bastard: 1) whyd u spell thought like thot

Richie Toes: why not

tiny bastard: thats awful and i hate you, i hope you know that

tiny bastard: 2) why was stan capitalized

Richie Toes: Stan is important

tiny bastard: please stop im begging you

Staniel the Maniel: I second that.

Richie Toes: bold of you to assume im capable of stopping

“Gays + Stan” 10:36 am, Sunday

tiny bastard: i still think we should kick richie from the chat

Beaverly: but who would i make fun of people with

tiny bastard: idk stan

Beaverly: stan uses grammar, therefore he doesnt possess gremlin energy

tiny bastard: wait what kind of energy does he have?

Beaverly: Tired Bastard Mom (™) enerfy

Richie Toes: he kinda does

Richie Toes: anyway im already at the sewer entrance

Richie Toes: u bitches best be hurrying up

tiny bastard: i hope the clown kills u

Staniel the Maniel: Me too.

Micycle: Ok so we should split up into two groups of two and one group of three

Micycle: Since we dont know where he is, well cover more ground this way

Richie Toes: i call dibs on Stan and eddie

Staniel the Maniel: Of course you would.

tiny bastard: i dont remember being asked if i wanted to spend the entire day in a sewer with richie

tiny bastard: which i dont

Beaverly: i actually think stan rich and eds would be a solid group

Beaverly: and then i can go with ben and mikey can go with bill!! problem solved

Big Bill: I like that plan, actually

Micycle: Hell yeah 

Micycle: Nothing says true r

Micycle: Nothing says true friendship like wading through a sewer together

Good man: i’d love to be paired up with Beverly!!

Beaverly: :’’)))

Staniel the Maniel: I want to be paired with Bill and Mike instead.

Richie Toes: no

Staniel the Maniel: That wasn’t a request.

Beaverly: u do kno whatll happen if u leave richie and eddie alone right???

Big Bill: Something gay?

Micycle: Theyll get got by the clown

tiny bastard: none of those things are gonna happen

Staniel the Maniel: I don’t see the issue with Mike’s answer.

Richie Toes: NONE OF THOSE THINGS ARE HAPPENING

Beaverly: isnt eddie usually the one yelling?

tiny bastard: SHUT THE FUCLK UP

Beaverly: there it is

Staniel the Maniel: I’m at the sewer.

Staniel the Maniel: Richie’s already refusing to shut up.

Big Bill: Did you expect otherwise?

Staniel the Maniel:...

Staniel the Maniel: No.

Richie Toes: whyd u type out the elipses

Richie Toes: Staniel’s just a very young looking boomer

tiny bastard: im at the sewers so shut the fuck up

Richie Toes: aight so were gonna head in first

Good man: i just got here as well!!

Beaverly: im super close

Eddie turned off his phone and pocketed it. He wrinkled his nose at the stench of the sewers. “This is such a bad idea,” he reminded them. He was already hesitant to search for the clown, and he hadn’t even stepped into the sewer yet.

Richie stuck out his tongue. “Are you scared, Eds?”

Eddie whacked his arm. “Shut the fuck up.”

He felt his pocket buzz again with a text, but he ignored it. It was probably just Beverly or Bill or someone texting to let their designated Sewage Buddy(™) know they were there. 

Richie was the first to actually walk into the entry point. Stan sighed and followed him, which made Eddie last. Richie looked back through the entrance, sending him a small smile and, well. Eddie would loathe to admit it (seriously he’d beat someone up before admitting this) but it maybe… helped.

Richie wasn’t usually the type of person to help. He usually made things worse.

Eddie took a breath and entered the sewer.

“Gays + Stan” 10:56 am, Sunday

Good man: okay so we’ve only been in the sewer for a couple of minutes, but we’ve found some things that might point us in the right direction!!

Beaverly: yeah check this out

[Beaverly sent a photo]

Richie Toes: is that 

Beaverly: a thing of clown makeup??? we think so

Richie Toes: man i was really looking forwards to 

Richie Toes: to harassing a fucking clIDSJUDDNJWS

Beaverly: rich???

Micycle: Clown got him

Big Bill: Don’t say that

Richie Toes: im ok dw

Richie Toes: we heard a noise and eddie tried to leap into my arms like a fucking CAT

Richie Toes: hes fr terrified rn

Beaverly: why isnt he yelling at you

Staniel the Maniel: Don’t worry, he’s definitely yelling at Richie.

Richie Toes: fucking cgrist its like the noise was my fault

Richie Toes: hes not on his phone rn so i get to make fun of him

Richie Toes: edward’s a bottom

Staniel the Maniel: I told him you said that.

Richie Toes: STAN

Beaverly: no offense but what the fuck is going on over there

Richie Toes: ur asking me like i know

Micycle: Yall we hear music

Beaverly: clown music??

Big Bill: Clown music.

Beaverly: bill drop ur location we’ll come find u

“Gays + Stan” 11:12 am, Sunday

Richie Toes: im so hungry why didnt i bring snacks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mike was 100% gonna say romance instead of friendship and tried to backtrack after he caught himself

**Author's Note:**

> again, i am so sorry


End file.
